Learn more about how you can get on top of managing stages of divorce grief and push through to better days.
Managing the stages of divorce grief can be a challenge. Today, Divorce Coach Gaylen Cragin shares what you might expect and one thing you can do to help navigate these new feelings. Let’s get Gaylen’s take on this.
As a society, and individually, we typically don’t give the same emphasis and understanding to those that are grieving as a result of divorce. Regardless of the nuances of one’s personal story, the loss of a marriage is an ending of a familiar state and sense of security—which requires grief and mourning. While the grieving process can be different depending on the circumstances, the stages of grief are the same. They are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and ultimately acceptance.
Grief can show up in a variety of ways, which are not always obvious.
● Shock, Numbness, Denial, Disbelief, Disorganization, Confusion
● Anxiety, Pain, Fear, Anger, Hate, Blame, Rage, Jealousy, Vindictiveness, Bitterness
● Guilt, Regret, Self-Blame, Shame, Rejection, Worthlessness, Failure
● Sadness, Depression, Loneliness, Vulnerability
● Relief, Release, Happiness, Euphoria, Hope
FEEL TO HEAL
Get comfortable with discomfort. We may want to run from our negative feelings but in order to fully grieve the loss we must feel ALL emotions. Otherwise, you can get stuck in the stages of grief. However, when you’ve reached acceptance, it’s normal to have waves of pain. Take time each day to focus on yourself and create healthy coping mechanisms.
Develop a positive support network made up of people who listen without judgment or agenda. Create a professional support team that will guide you through the process (i.e. certified divorce coach, therapist/counselor). Write in a journal (science says emotional writing relieves physical and emotional pain), read about grief, move your body, drink water, meditate and breathe.
If children are involved, define your role as a single parent—create boundaries and communication strategies to co-parent. Also, recognize how hard divorce is for your children. They are experiencing grief and mourning from divorce also. Define how you can support them.
GIVE YOURSELF GRACE
It can take about three years before things begin to feel normal again. Allow yourself that literal grace period. During that time you will experience your new reality of daily living and establish a refined purpose in life.
Life never goes back to what it was before loss, but life can move forward positively.
Are you ready to move forward? Contact Coach Gaylen Cragin for personalized support managing stages of divorce grief as you experience them.