Calendars, Community & Communication: Single Parent Guide to Organization

Calendars, Community & Communication: Single Parent Guide to Organization

For many people, Fall can feel like a new year or a fresh start. Sometimes more than our typical calendar year. We leave the carefree days of summer behind and transition back to routines and school or buckle down to end the year on a more productive note. Fall is a great time to get organized. This may mean decluttering our mudroom or finishing our inside house project that got put on hold for yardwork or fun in the sun.

But, what if we thought of Fall organization in terms of life after divorce? What would that look like?

For a single parent, it’s so important to have systems in place. If you are also working part-time or full-time, it’s so easy to fall behind. So much falls on us that organization is not only essential to the divorce process but also for life after divorce.

Calendars

Whether it’s Google calendar, or Apple calendar or another option, a calendar will be your project manager for your household. As a single parent, so much falls on us. Use your calendars to help you keep track of it all. Depending on your children’s ages, you can include them on the shared activities so they can help take some responsibility for time management too.
Come Fall, you are adding school holidays, conferences, half days, etc. Make sure you have all of your and the children’s activities on your calendar. If it’s electronic, you can add reminders. Maybe two or three reminders—week before, day before, hour before.
It may make sense to come up with a food calendar with your children for those busy days. This can help alleviate stress for all and keep you from going through the drive-through in desperation. Although, do add in a takeout night on the calendar if that is feasible and helpful!

Community

It’s so important to develop a positive support network made up of people who can help you navigate life as a single parent. You may need someone to watch young ones if you have a doctor appointment or want to make a workout class or for those with older kids to help with the endless rides to activities, sports and friends’ houses. Parent Ubers need to unite. Connect with your family members, fellow parents and caregivers.

Communication (Co-Parenting or Parallel Parenting)

It’s always a good idea to consistently reevaluate communication between you and your co-parent (or parallel parenting partner). If you are trying to parent with your former partner, this can be an extra stressful season with so many activities for the children. The way you interact needs to change after divorce and it’s important that you come up with a new practice for communication. It is important to establish boundaries.

• Interior Boundaries: Setting your internal boundaries.
• Exterior Boundaries: Drawing lines with others.
• Proactive Boundaries: Anticipating and engaging another to intervene when you feel unsafe.
• Reactive Boundaries: A script you put in place to respond in a concise, informative and civil manner instead of reacting emotionally.

Studies reveal a notable spike in divorce rates during Fall. Leaves change, weather becomes colder and reality can set in after the vacations are over and everyone is back to a more structured lifestyle. If you are trying to parent with your former partner, this can be an extra stressful season with so many activities for the children. Regardless of your stage of divorce, Fall is a great time to reset and organize yourself.

Gaylen Cragin
Founder, Cragin Coaching™
CDC Certified Divorce Coach®
CDC Divorce Transition and Recovery Coach®
Certified Divorce Specialist™

SUMMARY

In the Fall, there is a clear beginning and end. We leave the carefree days of summer behind and transition back to a more structured lifestyle. For single parents, Fall is an ideal time to re-evaluate your systems and make sure you are taking advantage of your calendars, community and a have a good practice for communication with your former spouse. Learn more about creating those systems.

Looking for more information? Connect today with Cragin Coaching!