8 Helpful Tips to Support Your Kids Through Your Divorce
8 Helpful Tips to Support Your Kids Through Your Divorce
Divorce can feel like a rollercoaster for everyone in the family, especially for the kids. As parents, your top priority during this tricky time is to help your children navigate their feelings and adjust to the changes. Kids sometimes find it hard to express what they’re going through, so having a game plan can really help. Here are eight practical tips that will support your children through this transition, all while trying to keep things light and reassuring for them! Remember, kids are pretty resilient, and a lot of their success will come from how you and your spouse handle your divorce moving forward.
1. Chat It Out – Make sure your child knows that it’s okay to share their feelings, no matter how tough it is to hear. Let them talk about their fears or concerns without interrupting. For younger kids, they might struggle to find the right words, so be patient and help them pinpoint their emotions. A “feelings wheel” can be a fun tool to help them express themselves, especially if they’re struggling to put what they’re experiencing into words. Answer their questions honestly, but keep it age-appropriate and as positive as possible.
2. Create a Steady Routine – Kids love routines! Establish a clear parenting plan so your children know what to expect. This helps reduce anxiety and gives them a sense of stability. If plans change, let the kids know as soon as possible. A predictable routine can provide your children with a sense of normalcy. Things are definitely changing, so the easiest you can make these changes for the kids, the better!
3. Make Time for Quality Moments – During the divorce process, you’re going to feel stressed. During this process, your kids will likely need some extra love and reassurances. Your divorce might feel all-consuming, but do not let it take away the quality time your kids need. Remember – the quantity of time a child spends with you is not as important as the quality time you are able to spend together. As much as you do not want to neglect your own needs during this process, you will definitely want to carve out time for one-on-one activities with each child as well as family time you can spend together. Whether it’s game night around the kitchen table or a movie marathon snuggled up on the couch, these moments reinforce your love to your children and help them feel secure.
4. Find Peer Support – Although your kids likely already have friends with parents who are no longer together, connecting your kids with other children in similar situations can work wonders. Look for support groups or playdates with other children whose parents are divorced or separated. Knowing that they’re not the only ones going through this can be a huge comfort and give them a chance to share their feelings with friends who get it.
5. Think About Therapy – Sometimes, kids might want to talk to someone other than their parents. If you happen to be in a high-conflict situation, you will want your children speaking to a neutral professional to avoid any allegations that you are “brainwashing” if you are asking the kids about how they’re feeling. A therapist, especially one who specializes in play therapy for younger kids, can help them explore their feelings in a safe space. It’s a great way for them to process everything without feeling pressure. With the rise of families where one or more of their children have autism, animal-assisted therapy has become a reliable source of support and growth.
6. Use Comfort Objects – If you find that your child seems to be struggling between homes, a transitional object – like a favorite stuffed animal or blanket – can be a big source of comfort. If the stress is continuing or getting worse, please try to objectively take a look at your own behavior. Are you doing or saying anything that could be aggravating your child’s stress level as well? Unfortunately, prolonged goodbyes and repetitive “I’ll miss you” statements can sometimes have a negative effect for your child as they might be afraid they’re hurting you or making you feel bad by leaving, which can increase their stress levels.
7. Keep Up Their Activities – Encourage your kids to stay involved in their extracurricular activities. Whether it’s participating in sports, clubs, hobbies, or organizations, these activities offer a sense of normalcy and community, helping them stay grounded during this time of change. Sometimes having something that allows you to totally take your mind off something (like the divorce) is an incredibly good thing – same goes for your children.
8. Teach Relaxation Techniques – Although most kids will fully adjust to the changes a divorce requires, teaching your kids tips and tricks to help them know how to calm themselves down quickly can be really beneficial in every aspect of their future. Simple techniques like taking slow, deep breaths or progressive muscle relaxation can help them manage any anxiety they may experience and feel more in control. While divorce is tough, by promoting open communication, maintaining routines, and ensuring they have a strong support system, you can help your kids feel safe and secure despite the things that will inevitably be changing in all of your lives.
Looking for more information? Connect today with O’Connor Family Law at divorcesquad.com/listing/oconnor-family-law
