What Nobody Tells You About Divorce As a Working Mom
If you’re anticipating going through divorce as a working mom, chances are you’ve already been doing a lot of research: what to expect, what you’ll need to prepare, gathering documents, etc. But nothing can really prepare you for the challenges that can come with going from a team of two to a team of one, even if you felt like it was a team of one at times. The good news? Knowing what lies ahead and knowing what to expect can help you face this transition with a little more confidence.
Here are five crucial things every working mom should know about navigating divorce.
- Navigating Childcare and Co-Parenting Can Be Challenging.
One of the biggest potential challenges for working moms during and after divorce is navigating childcare and co-parenting. All of a sudden you’re juggling your job, household responsibilities, pick ups and drop offs, co-parenting schedules, and playdates, all while trying to keep your child’s routine as stable as possible. It can feel overwhelming and, at times, impossible to balance everything without burning out. While this will undoubtedly be challenging, there are ways to make this transition easier. Create a detailed co-parenting plan with your ex-spouse that outlines schedules, responsibilities, and expectations to reduce potential conflict and establish clarity in your schedule. You can use co-parenting apps like OurFamilyWizard to manage communication and track potential updates to the schedule. It’s also important to recognize that you may not be able to do this alone. Don’t be afraid to rely on trusted friends, family, or childcare provers to help fill in the gaps when that work meeting goes late or traffic is especially challenging that morning. You deserve support as well!
- Time Management Will Be More Important Than Ever.
While you may have felt like you were the queen of time management before, you may find yourself facing new challenges as a divorced mom. You know how to juggle work, childcare, and everything else around the house, from meal prep to mowing the lawn, all by yourself. The days may feel impossibly short, and you may have no idea how you’ll get everything done. We’re here to tell you that most likely you won’t, and that’s okay. Some things will have to be left for later or potentially delegated out, and that’s normal! You do not have to be a Supermom all the time. To make things a little easier, try creating some routines or schedules for yourself that track your work commitments, your child’s activities, and daily tasks that need to get completed. Meal prepping as well as finding those pockets of time for uninterrupted work will go a long way. Remember, your self-care is important too, and that’s usually the first thing to go. Even a short, ten minute stretch break can make a big difference when it comes to reducing stress and making sure you’re meeting all of your obligations without too many bumps in the road.
- You May Need More Support Than You Did Before.
We’re not just talking support with the household tasks or support in getting your kids to and from soccer practice, but emotional support. You’ve probably been handling a lot of the emotional work on your own for a long time. But here’s the thing, even if your partner wasn’t actively involved- simply having another adult in the house can change how circumstances feel. When that presence is gone, the weight of your daily challenges may hit a little harder than you expected. This is where having someone to talk to, a trusted friend, family member, or a licensed professional like a therapist or a divorce coach, can make all the difference. Remember, reaching out for help doesn’t make you any less than or less capable than anyone else. In fact, being able to recognize when you need help is a huge sign of inner strength. Having someone who you can process your feelings with and take a little time to recharge means you can face each day’s challenges head on, knowing your emotional needs can still be met.
- Your Priorities and Roles Will Change.
As a divorced working mom, you may find that your priorities and roles change almost overnight. One day you were able to stay late for the big meeting, the next you’re finding you need to excuse yourself to care for a sick child. The flexibility you once had to go above and beyond at work might now be limited by the added responsibilities of caring for your child and maintaining your home. You may also find yourself having to learn skills you’ve never had to think about before – unclogging a drain, assembling something complicated, or troubleshooting another household problem solo. While this can feel daunting to say the least, this can also offer an incredible opportunity for you to redefine your identity. You’ll discover what truly matters to you, and where your values and goals really lie. For some, that might mean hiring additional childcare so they can maintain their careers goals. For others, it might mean stepping back from certain work obligations to make more space for family time. There is no right way of doing things and every family will handle things differently, but whatever feels right for you, is the right choice.
- You’ll Realize Just How Strong You Are.
As a divorced working mom, you’ll quickly learn that life has a way of proving you wrong. Just when you think you’ve anticipated every possible challenge, you’ll find a new one appears. But here’s the surprising part: through those moments, you’ll discover just how strong and capable you truly are. You’ll see it in the way you problem-solve under pressure, in the way you keep showing up for your kids no matter how exhausted you might be, and in the way you keep pushing forward in your career even when the odds feel stacked against you. Often, it’s when we are stretched beyond our limits that we realize we can push ourselves just a little further. Yes, the road ahead may be tough. But you are tougher. With a solid support team of friends, family, colleagues, attorneys, or mental health professionals – you won’t just make it through this chapter. You’ll grow from it, thrive in it, and redefine what’s possible for you and your family.
Divorce as a working mom is more than a legal process, it’s a complete shift in your life, priorities, and identity. There will be moments that test you in ways you never expected, but each challenge will reveal strengths you didn’t know you had. Your routines may change, your goals may evolve, and you may need more support than before, but none of that makes you less capable. In fact, it’s proof of your resilience. By taking things one day at a time, leaning on your support system, and giving yourself credit for each small victory, you can navigate this transition with strength and confidence. The road ahead may be tough, but you are tougher, and this chapter can be the beginning of a life that reflects your values, courage, and determination.
If you’re about to navigate divorce as a working mom in Massachusetts, we at O’Connor Family Law are prepared to offer you the compassionate, experienced, and knowledgeable assistance to help you move through this experience with clarity and strength. With support, you will come out the other side stronger and more capable than you began.
