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How To Move Through Divorce – Five Tips!

See how you can successfully move through divorce while moving ON with your life!

Figuring out how to move through divorce (and not getting stuck standing still) is so important when life feels like it has come to a screeching halt. Small tasks may seem unimportant to deal with when your life feels like it’s falling apart. But the truth is that your life has not stopped, and you must continue living certain aspects of your life as if things were “normal” to avoid slowly drowning in a divorce quicksand. Here are 5 tips for moving forward and not getting stuck.
1) Maintain your children’s routine. This is big. Just by keeping the schedule your children need to feel safe and loved will propel you forward. You may not be leaping out of bed, but gather the energy you need to make your kids breakfast, get them to their practices and help them with their homework. It will not benefit your kids to see you wallowing so even though it will be hard, do what you can to keep their routine uninterrupted and you all moving forward. If you do not have kids, the same rule applies to your own routine. Keep doing the “normal” things you did before that you still can do. Even something as simple as continuing to wake up at the same time for your morning cup of coffee is important.
2) Continue doing a good job. If you are an employee or business owner, allow yourself to go all in on your work when you are working, and focus on putting aside things having to do with your divorce. If you want to talk to co-workers about what is happening in your life, that’s perfectly fine and a healthy thing to do, but do not get caught up in having that be your day. Divorce can take months, even years (sorry to tell you) and no employer wants his/her employee taking about their personal problems all day when they are on the clock. Do a great job and be proud of the work you have accomplished.
3) Make time for self care. Very likely, you have spent the last years putting everyone else in your life ahead of you. Decide on doing something nice for yourself, whether it is a haircut, pedicure, trying yoga or a new smoothie recipe. While it may seem simple, giving yourself a little boost in confidence is just the catalyst you need to be progressing forward.
4) Get Organized. One of the biggest struggles in divorce is feeling a loss of control. So take control of what you can. It can be your desk. Your closet. Your kitchen junk drawer. Anything that you can spend time improving. You’ll be keeping busy and focused on the task at hand and feel accomplished at the end. Plus, something will be cleaner. Bonus!
5) Block off some sad time. You don’t need to put crying on your calendar, but what you can do is be mindful of your emotions and allow them to be felt deeply in an ideal situation that you have created. What this means is, you aren’t sobbing at your son’s baseball practice, but instead watch The Notebook when all the kids are in bed and you can have yourself a good cry. Or you schedule a therapy session for when they are in school and you can talk freely about how you feel with no one hearing. By acknowledging your fears and stresses, they won’t bleed out during the times when you don’t want them to.
Figuring out how to move through divorce can feel completely overwhelming but you are not standing in quicksand. You are moving forward in your life to a better and happier place. You will get through this!

If you enjoyed this article, check out the one on Self Care.