Creating boundaries during your divorce is one of the most important things you can do to help manage your stress and best take care of your mental health. If you aren’t used to establishing boundaries, it may feel a little odd at first (especially if you’re a people pleaser), but making some small changes can have a big impact.
Here are 5 areas to consider establishing boundaries:
1. Social Media
It’s a good idea to consider both who you are connected to on social media as well as what content you’re seeing. If seeing certain people is triggering for you, consider unfollowing them or if it’s very toxic, blocking them. There is no need to expose yourself to unpleasantries online. More on this here.
2. Family Members
While it may not be possible completely block out family members (though many people do this) it is possible to limit your time with them. If attending a family event, you can position yourself to exchange pleasantries only and then move the conversation along to focus on someone else. Your business is no one else’s, and you are completely entitled to answer any questions by saying, “This isn’t something I want to have a conversation about right now.”
3. Friends
This is the time for good friends. This is not the time for fair-weather friends who may not have your back. Anyone that you’re unsure about, take a pause on social interactions with and stick to the important core people in your life that you trust.
4. In-laws
Dealing with in-laws during your divorce and after can be challenging. You may not think you have a direct conflict with them and want to maintain a relationship, but in many cases, their loyalty will not be to you. Limit discussions with them related to your divorce. If you have children, it is nice to continue a good dialogue with them related to the kids, but outside of those conversations, it may be best to take a step back.
5. Acquaintances
Anyone who is an acquaintance is not someone you should be having intimate conversations with about anything in your current divorce situation. Whether it be a parent in your child’s social circle or someone in a class you’re taking, maintain a boundary with these people that limits your conversations to what you have in common without sharing the innermost thoughts you’re having. If this person becomes a good friend, then that will be a wonderful new addition to your circle who you can treat as a confidant. Until then, maintain some privacy for yourself and your personal life.
By establishing good boundaries, you can alleviate some stress and minimize the potential for problems. As you grow more comfortable with boundaries, you will be creating a better situation for yourself to successfully move through the divorce process.
Need support through your divorce? Connect to our professionals!
