Awake by Jen Hatmaker: Divorce Book Review
Awake: A Memoir was released this week. This book is a must read for any woman going through divorce, and also for women like myself who have been divorced for years.
Jen Hatmaker tells her story in three parts: Part One – The End, Part Two – The Middle and Part Three – The Beginning. She is very clear in her Author’s Note at the beginning that this is HER story and that there are different perspectives in a marriage as to what happened leading up to the divorce. You know immediately that she is writing this story from her scars, and not her wounds.
The story begins with the end of her marriage. She is awakened in bed by her husband who she overhears whispering a voice-text, “I just can’t quit you.” From there, Jen takes you through the incredible anger and grief of her and her 5 children as she is facing divorce. She also details various flashbacks to events in her youth that undoubtedly shaped her perception of herself and what a marriage should look like.
Prior to reading Part 1 of the book, I listened to 2 podcast interviews with Jen Hatmaker, the first with Jamie Kern Lima, and the second interview was conducted by Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach and Amanda Doyle on We Can Do Hard Things.
The conversations were really illuminating and came to a very interesting point of conversation near the end of the dialogue amongst Jen, Glennon, Abby and Amanda, all of whom have been through divorce. They discussed that often in marriages, there is a single breaking point, like in the case of Jen’s marriage. This massive rift, the betrayal, served as a “get out of free jail card” in which she could easily portray herself as the victim of a terrible circumstance and be granted the green light towards divorce, both by herself as well as others in her circle. Glennon and Amanda had been served these passes themselves, one also dealing with infidelity and the other with abandonment. But these women do not want you to wait for this pass to be served. They want women to know that their right to get out of their marriage can be smaller fractures, unhappiness and loneliness. They don’t want you to wait as they did for the massive rupturing event for you to think you now have the green light to start over.
Glennon Doyle asked Jen Hatmaker what advice she had for women who may be considering divorce. Jen gave the advice to first, tell yourself the truth about your marriage. And second, to tell someone you love dearly in your close circle.
My advice for you is to get a copy of this book as soon as you can! Go to your local bookstore preferably, or you can order on Amazon. If you don’t have time to read it just yet, consider listening to one of the two podcasts.
Jen has every right to feel the victim, and instead has made herself the beautiful heroine of her own story. Let her story of pain and growth remind you of how strong you are. Her story is your story.
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