Parents of Autistic Children: 5 Tips to Make Divorce Easier on Them
Divorce is never easy, and when you have a child with Autism, the challenges can feel even more difficult. Neurodiverse children often struggle with change, making it essential to take every aspect of the child’s care into consideration and operate with as much intentionality as possible. While the needs of every family and child are unique, here are 5 key things to keep in mind to ensure this transition is as smooth as possible for your child.
- Keep Routines Consistent: Children with autism often thrive under clear routines and can become extremely dysregulated when those routines are disrupted. Make sure their school schedule, extracurricular activities, and mealtimes remain consistent as much as possible. If your child is moving between two homes, work with your co-parent to establish a consistent routine so no matter where the child is, they know what to expect. While this may not always be easy to coordinate, or enforce, the more predictable their routine, the easier the transition will be.
- Get Your Child Some Support: Children on the spectrum may also benefit from attending counseling to help process some of the difficult feelings they may be experiencing. Divorce can be confusing and emotionally overwhelming for any child, and neurodiverse children will most likely process these changes differently from neurotypical children. There may even be a potential for regression, where some of these difficult behaviors that seemed to have been overcome start appearing in the child’s day to day routine. Counseling that is tailored to your child’s developmental needs like DIR/Floor-time, a child-led play therapy approach may be best. This modality meets the child where they are developmentally and will help build the scaffolding they need to contend with these challenging emotions.
- Create a Custody Plan that Prioritizes Stability: While 50/50 custody may work for some families, it may not be the best arrangement for a child with autism. Frequent transitions between homes multiple times per week can be stressful, leading to increased anxiety and often increased behavioral issues exhibited by the child. Instead of an equal time split, you may need to focus on what works best for the well-being of your child. It may require creativity on your part to make sure each parent gets the time they need with their child. But remember, the goal is ultimately to provide the love, security, and stability that they deserve.
- Have a Plan: Caring for a child with autism often involves more than the typical child care expenses most parents have. From ABA, therapy, specialized education programs, dietary needs, and medical treatments, there are a number of additional expenses and care instructions each parent needs to be aware of. Do both parents understand the child’s IEP? Is everyone aware of the costs associated with the different therapies, special diets, medications, or other accommodations that the child requires? Having open conversations and clearly defining the financial responsibilities and how ongoing expenses will be shared is crucial. It’s important to keep in mind that some parents may be facing life-long caregiving responsibilities with their child, and that must be taken into consideration when crafting your agreement.
- Consult With a Child Custody Attorney: When it comes to children with special needs, it’s important to understand that the child support guidelines may differ from what’s typical. For an Autistic child who needs a higher level of care, child support payments may need to continue indefinitely or transition into an adult guardianship situation. A knowledgeable child custody attorney can help you navigate these legal complexities and ensure that all aspects of your child’s future are taken into account, from custody arrangements (like the difference between physical and legal custody) to financial planning. When dealing with children with special needs, having an experienced attorney in your corner is essential.
Divorcing with a child on the autism spectrum presents a number of unique challenges, but by prioritizing the stability and well-being of your child, you can help ease the transition. Keeping their emotional, financial, and medical needs at the forefront, as well as building a co-parenting plan, can make all the difference in ensuring they continue to feel safe and supported.
While divorce is never easy, we at O’Connor Family Law are prepared to assist you navigate this challenging time. Our experienced child custody attorneys are here to provide the guidance and support you need to create a custody plan that will set your child up for success now and in the future.
Looking for more information? Connect today with O’Connor Family Law!
