Get six great tips for making kids going on vacation with Ex easier for all of you!
Your kids going on vacation with your ex can feel hard, but that’s not your children’s burden to bear. They didn’t ask to be children of divorced parents, and they shouldn’t be made to feel guilty about any time they spend with your ex. In order for this to happen, you must show nothing but support for their trip.
Here are 6 tips to help your children enjoy their time away from you:
1) Show excitement in response to their excitement. If they are going someplace they are looking forward to, say “That sounds like fun!”
2) Show encouragement in response to their lack of excitement. Maybe they are nervous or not looking forward to what has been planned. Don’t fuel that fire. Instead, let them know they will probably have a better time than they are expecting, and help them figure out how that can be – maybe they need to pack a deck of cards, art supplies, or some books that they enjoy.
3) Don’t ask too many questions. When kids get the 3rd degree, they know immediately you are fishing for information that isn’t relevant to them. Don’t do that. They will end up feeling like they shouldn’t tell you anything.
4) Ask them what they need for the trip, and if you can, help them prepare. Sometimes parents get fixated on things being for their house and not their ex’s house/time, but if it’s your child’s belonging, let them do what they want with it (within reason). I bought iPads for my kids for a plane trip we were taking that I also let them travel with when they are with their dad. Maybe they want to take pajamas, a bathing suit, headphones etc. which is fine, you may need to remind them that these things all need to come back so they have use of them again.
5) Don’t check in on them excessively. I like to talk to my kids on the phone when they are away, but I limit my outreach and ask their father to call me when they have availability. I would of course extend the same courtesy to their dad when the kids were with me and away from him.
6) Don’t make any negative comments about the trip being excessive or not enough. Maybe dad is taking them to Tahiti. Maybe he is taking them to McDonald’s. Whatever/wherever is not your business to critique to your children. Let them try to enjoy whatever is planned.
Sending your kids on vacation with your ex will probably feel odd the first time for both you and your children. Using these six strategies can help all of you adjust to this new experience which will make it less stressful and even enjoyable for all of you! Even you!