How Do Divorced Families Celebrate Christmas?

How Do Divorced Families Celebrate Christmas?

The first Christmas after a divorce can bring up a lot of questions:

“How do I celebrate Christmas now?”
“Will we still do the same traditions?”
“Who gets the kids for Christmas?”
“Will it feel the same as last year?”
“Do I even want to celebrate this year?”

To answer all of these questions would take a lot longer than this article would allow and, likely, a lot of exploration by you. What we can say is that there is no one way for a family to celebrate Christmas after a divorce. A lot of that decision will depend upon you, your custody agreement, and what feels right for your family that year. However, if you’re looking to explore some different possibilities, here are 5 common ways that divorced families celebrate Christmas.

1.) Alternating Years
One of the simplest solutions is to alternate years on who gets to spend Christmas with the children. This can be difficult on both parties to give up time with your child on the holiday, but it does create the clearest agreement and boundaries. Oftentimes, divorced families will alternate with another major holiday like Thanksgiving so each parent gets the children for a major holiday each year. If you choose this method, chances are you’ll have some mixed feelings on spending the holiday without your children. That’s perfectly okay! Use the time to celebrate with other friends and family, enjoy some rest and alone time (the holidays can be stressful!), or treat yourself to a special trip and enjoy an experience you normally wouldn’t get with your kids around. While Christmas without kids can feel lonely, it doesn’t have to be.

2.) Splitting the Day
Another option is to split the day in half, with one parent getting the children from morning to afternoon and the other getting the children from afternoon to evening. This does necessitate clear rules on exactly what hours each parent will have the children for, and it can, depending on your children, feel a little disruptive to your children to go from household to household. However, for some children, what matters most is being able to see both of their parents on Christmas, so they won’t mind moving back and forth.

3.) Splitting the Event into Christmas Eve and Christmas Day
Each parent can also divide the holiday into Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with one parent getting the children for each day. This method is helpful when there is an extended family that also wants to spend time with the child, and it enables the children to spend time with both maternal and paternal relatives without rushing to the next event. It can also help in making sure Christmas traditions stay intact with each parent celebrating their respective Christmas Eve and Christmas Day traditions. If Christmas Eve is not generally a big celebration for your family, you and your ex can negotiate which traditions may be moved to Christmas Eve to make sure both parents get to participate in the fun with their children.

4.) Having Two Celebrations
Some couples don’t want to have to sacrifice having a full Christmas celebration with their children, so they create two Christmases with all the celebration and tradition that comes with the day. With this method, neither parent has to feel like they’ve missed out on the day, and the kids are able to have a full Christmas experience with each parent. Between the two of you, you will have to decide on which parent will celebrate on the 25th and which will get the 26th, possibly alternating every year. It all depends on how much the date versus the time spent with your children means to you.

5) Celebrating Together
If you and your ex separated on good terms, you might consider celebrating Christmas together. This avoids splitting the households, and your children get to maintain the same traditions as normal. If you and your ex are still friends, this gives your children the opportunity to see that, though you’re no longer married, you’re still united in your roles as parents. However, be cautious how, especially in the beginning, this may cause some confusion for your children who don’t quite understand what the divorce really means yet. If you feel this option may blur the line for your children, or yourself (a lot of feelings come up around the holiday, remember?), then it may be best to look at one of the options above instead.

At the end of the day, there’s no single “right” way for divorced families to celebrate Christmas. What matters most is finding an arrangement that supports your children’s happiness and works for
your family dynamic. Whether that means alternating years, sharing the day, or even creating new
traditions, the goal is to keep the season centered on love, stability, and connection.

At O’Connor Family Law, we understand how important it is to maintain a sense of peace and
balance during the holidays. Our team can help you create or adjust custody agreements that make
this time of year less stressful and more meaningful for everyone involved.

Looking for more information? Connect today with O’Connor Family Law!