Creating Consistency at Home During Divorce

Creating consistency at home during divorce is so important for your children. With that being said, your children will need to understand that there are going to be some differences between the two households.  It is normal for individual parents to adopt a different set of rules for their households based on their parenting styles. Good news! Kids often adapt better than adults. They will know quickly in which home certain things are done one way, and in their other home it may not be the same.

Accept What You Cannot Control

While you may want all the rules of your ex’s house to be the same as yours, that’s not something you can control, and you’ll get frustrated trying.  Therefore, create consistency on things that you can control within your own household. A consistent bedtime routine, a consistent bedtime, consistency with your dinners and your weekend routines.  It will help your children know exactly what to expect when they are with you. If there are things your ex is willing to do the same, that’s great. Maybe it can be the same bedtime at both homes. But again, do not focus too much on what you cannot control, as you will only be frustrated. You may not agree with what happens when your children aren’t with you, but if it’s not something that’s unsafe or unhealthy, you can’t do anything about it.

Children are quite savvy!

Your children will likely adapt to the differences between homes and act accordingly to what they know is expected of them. If there is something going on in one home that is different from the other and they question the rules, let them know that their mother’s house has their mother’s rules, and their father’s house has their father’s rules, and those rules are expected to be followed. Creating consistency at home during divorce will get easier and easier as time goes on.

Looking for advice on co-parenting?  Check out this article on Divorce and the Holidays.